I've so been dreading the day that I knew would come.  I knew that working would make me miss some important moment in my little girl's life..some "first" that only happens once, and no matter how hard I try, can never be recaptured.  Well, today was that day.
I pulled into the driveway this afternoon like normal.  This is always the best part of my day because I can almost always guarantee that when I walk in the door, Lili will either be in her swing or Eric's arms waiting for me.  Today was no different.  I walked in the door to find her swinging happily..then came Eric's words: "She laughed today!"  I felt my heart smile, but on the outside I kind of wanted to cry.  I missed it.  I've heard cooing, and oohs and ahs..but nothing that was unmistakably a laugh.  I missed it..It's ridiculous, but I'm crying as I sit beside her typing this.  At least her Daddy was there to hear it..a fact which I can't help but resent a little bit.  I want more than anything to be at home with this little girl..to watch her grow and teach her.  Instead, Eric gets to be with her.  I am thankful that one of us is with her instead of sending her to daycare to be watched by strangers..I thank God that things worked out this way, and I have to keep reminding myself when things get frustrating that this must all be part of His plan.  I don't completely understand this plan, but I guess I'm not really supposed to..I'm just supposed to trust it.  (Lord, I'm trying.)
On a related note, Easter was great.  We went to church, Lili met her Uncle Albert for the first time, we had a mini "egg hunt", and ate lunch with wonderful family and friends..followed by great times with Phil and Sarah and the Wii.
I know this has been a very scattered blog..but that's kind of how I feel right now.  I'm very scattered, emotional, and trying very hard to stay positive.  I'd appreciate any prayers you could offer.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
 
 
1 comment:
Stacey, I am praying for you and all that is going on in your life right now. It is so hard to understand God's plan for our lives. I am at the point now where I am questioning him just a little bit but I know he is in control and has a perfect plan for your family. Hang in there! Katie
Post a Comment